Hot Mess AirBNB Express

What a mess.

OK, here's the shit-show story. This is what I booked:

Nice, huh? So the annoyance began with a list of questions sent to me by the host that I had to acknowledge.

- This is a shared accommodation (OK, NBD, I know this).

- There are 5 other 'housemates'. (ummm...OK.)

- There is a dog on site (didn't know this, but whatevs, I love dogs).

- Confirm the # of guests, that there will be no parties and no photoshoots (LOL, OK).

- Provide a copy of my ID (huh?)

- The manager will contact and must speak to you prior to your arrival (huh, what??)

Also, there were no check in instructions other than to contact the host to arrange, so no self check in. I *cannot* stress how much I hate when hosts do not have self check in. It's such a pain.

I never get a call, so I text five hours before my arrival to let them know I never heard from anyone, that I'm on my way and I will arrive at 4PM and that I am driving and will not be able to reply to texts, so call me instead please.

No response. I stop at a rest stop an hour out and let them know I'm an hour out and still haven't heard from anyone. My phone rings minutes later. It's 'Joseph'. He lives there but is not the host. He's the property manager. So Joseph, his wife, and their baby (who I later found out had Covid at the time) live in one room of the condo and the other two rooms are AirBNB'd by the owner.

In the other room are three grown men and a husky that (according to Joseph) barks all day. He, the wife, and baby haven't slept in days. He also tells me (after I asked) that the doors only lock from the inside, so when I'm out I cannot lock my room. He tells me that the owner has another unit in the same building which is empty because it's the penthouse and she's asking too much to rent it so no one rents it. She charges $500 a night and would I want that.

Well, sure Joseph, that would be amazing, but I'm not spending $500/night.

He somehow finagles it so it's $60 total extra for my stay. I agree because his place sounds like a *nightmare* and who wouldn't want the penthouse???

I arrive and explain to Joseph where I am and he tells me I'm in the wrong place. Oh, the AirBNB has the wrong address listed. (Um, OK sketch, but what am I supposed to do at this point??) I get to the new place, get up and get the keys that let me into the parking garage and...the space number they gave me to park in is occupied.

And the second spot they tell me to park in is occupied.

Third time is the charm. Parked, grabbed my bags, and headed to the elevator the owner told me to take. EXPLICITLY told me to take. DO NOT TAKE THE OTHER ELEVATORS.

Guess what?

The owner was wrong. I got stuck in the elevator because the key fob wouldn't let me back down to the garage to go to the elevator I was supposed to be on. FML.

Someone else who lives there eventually gets in the elevator, I explain my issue, they fob me to P2. In the garage a nice man explains where I'm supposed to go. Get in the right elevator, get to the right place, let myself in and find this...FYI, that wad of gum is stuck to the wall in the master bedroom, right behind the bed. No, not hidden. It was the second thing I saw after the carpet. I made a little mark in the next picture to show where it was. Like what the AF? How does a cleaner miss that? HOW DOES ONE CHARGE $500 FOR THIS? How on Earth do you think this is comparable to what I booked, even if I do now have it all to myself??

I started sending pictures and videos to the owner because I did not want to get blamed for any of this.

She was shocked.

Embarassed.

Angry (at her cleaners and property managers).

She lives in the UK and has a number of AirBNBs and relies on others to manage and take care of them. I get it, I do the same, but I just have one and I can tell from the feedback of my guests that my place is in great shape. Time after time they comment on how nice my place is and how clean it is. There is *no way* they're getting the same feedback. I *cannot* imagine this happened overnight.

I had also been talking to the property managers at the same time since I had their numbers from check in. I wasn't able to send video to the owner (until she gave me her phone number, she actually asked to call me to talk because she was so distressed). The property managers are a couple - the wife didn't realize somehow that it was me sending the video of the carpets and replied "This is your fucking cash deal!" It didn't click with me until the next day, but all of a sudden in the middle of the day my brain says to me...wait a second...are these property managers renting this place out for cash under the nose of the owner when it's not booked via AirBNB??

You bet they were.

The owner booked a flight to come deal with it all, thanked me profusely for my help and patience, and offered me a free stay in the future in one of her properties. Now I think I'd rather have a refund TBH, but I'll take the free stay.

I'm not leaving a review for this stay. I feel for this owner, I'm not going to trash her. I let her know that I wouldn't be leaving a review at all because I couldn't leave a good one and this is a circumstance where I felt it would be unfair to leave a bad one. She was appalled by the whole situation, she booked a flight to come deal with it directly, and she offered me something for my troubles.

You may be asking "How did you even stay there?" Meh. I was tired. I wore my flip flops inside. The bathroom was clean. I checked the sheets to be sure they were freshly laundered, they were (I was actually shocked), I put towels on the couch to sit on it, and I washed my clothes before I left. Honestly, I had been camping a few weeks before, just stayed in a hostel, and the place I stayed in when I was in Salem gave me the creeps. After the hot mess/2+ hour check in I was tiiiiiired. This place was just...stained. If it had been my first stop I may have felt differently, I honestly don't know, but being my eleventybillionth stay...whatevs. I'm bougie a lot of the time but sometimes I just don't care. It probably helped immensely that I am a host myself. There is really no rhyme or reason. A little bit of ick isn't going to kill me for 2 nights.

xoxo

iamfunchris